Kishimoto Eats Cake while Gilbert Public Schools Gains Media Attention

The school year is almost over. Fresh-faced graduates from Gilbert Public Schools are ready to take on the world. Over the summer, evil plotters will labor in secrecy in the bowels of the GPS White Castle to *reform* whatever catches the superintendent’s fancy. In other words, everything old is new again in Gilbert, Arizona!

Superintendent Christina Kishimoto’s reforms of what was once a reputable school district will continue to bleed student enrollment, devastate teacher recruiting and bludgeon taxpayers for more money. You will be hearing cries that the sky is falling, which will lead to new budget cuts since GPS already had plans to spend every dollar they hoped to get into their hot hands, including dollars the district won’t receive due to the aforesaid student losses. These happenings on Christina Kishimoto’s watch are a result of her blind ambition for a national reputation and her tone-deaf *leadership.*

It’s all part of her plan, and Kishimoto’s Three Votes on the Governing Board are fully supporting every effort to loot the GPS treasury, with the usual brief respite while Top Dogs party all around the country on taxpayer-financed vacations. In addition to the usual mid-summer celebrations in Tucson, Arizona, members of the GPS superintendency and their favorite administrators will party hardy* in Baltimore, Maryland this year with their buxom bosom buddy, Robyn Conrad-Hansen. Christina Kishimoto, lavishly spending taxpayers’ money to show how much she cares about her staff, cries out to the public, “Let them eat cake!

At least it will be a break from all their meetings catered by the GPS Food Service Catering Department. If you ask why a school district needs a catering department, Governing Board Clerk Silly Jilly Humpherys will not listen to you. Her pal, GPS Governing Board President Lily Tram, already decided that anything this superintendent wants, she gets, even if it takes dollars away from educating students. Of course, the only reason the Governing Board exists is to educate students. If you didn’t know that, obviously you were not cut out to be Lily Tram’s BFF or fellow board member.

Since everything old is new again, it won’t surprise you to learn that high school seniors have been up to their annual playing tricks and pranks, and a few of them made international news. One such occurrence involved a senior at Red Mountain High School in Mesa, AZ, whose prank involved a teeny weeny exposure in a football team photograph that school authorities had not noticed during all the months that the photo was distributed in various venues. The student’s poor choice landed him in some scaldingly hot water: he was charged with 69 misdemeanor counts of  indecent exposure. No, we did not make up that number; the Mesa Police Department did, seemingly with no awareness of its racy double entendre. There was one felony charge for this kid, which the Maricopa County Attorney declined to prosecute, a decision applauded far and wide, especially after a petition supporting that conclusion went viral on the Internet. The Mesa Police later dropped the case, perhaps because the so-called victims urged them to do so. BTW, Playgirl Magazine was impressed!

The way the dots of that incident connect to Gilbert Public Schools probably is a mystery to the scalawags and carpetbaggers in the GPS superintendency. Here comes Westie to the rescue, with the corporate memory that seems to no longer exist in the GPS White Castle of Doom. The principal of Red Mountain High School is Jared Ryan, the guy who opened Campo Verde High School in GPS. Birdies chirp that he jumped to Mesa School District in the Great Exodus of 2014, shortly after Christina Kishimoto was announced as the new GPS superintendent. Good move, Jared! This move is especially interesting in hindsight, since Jared Ryan was spouting the same *national* thingy that Kishimoto pushes:

I have maintained a philosophy of surrounding myself with individuals focused on exceptionally high standards and a desire to be a nationally recognized example of what a community school can be. Red Mountain and Mesa Public Schools are filled with the type of students, staff and community members it takes to achieve that vision.

Returning to the Red Mountain High School yearbook photo mess to connect the dots to GPS: the spokesperson for Mesa Public Schools is Helen Hollands, a former member of the GPS Governing Board. Good old Helen Hollands told the press that Jared Ryan calling the cops who then arrested this high school senior was *mandatory,* meaning no one thought for a moment about what would happen next. It appears that Helen Hollands believed the yearbooks would be *edited* with a sticker covering the offending area. This is really rich, considering who was in the Loose Zipper Brigade in Gilbert Public Schools when Helen Hollands was on the board.

Helen Hollands, a spokeswoman for Mesa Public School[s], said Tuesday that it was mandatory for school administrators to report the offense to police and that the district was pursuing its own disciplinary actions, which officials would not share. It was “highly recommended” by the district that those who had received yearbooks return them temporarily so the photo could be edited, she said.

A senior prank at Highland High School, a GPS school, went awry recently. Principal Melinda Murphy may not be amused that the reporter thought she was a he:

Videos posted online shows students starting a water balloon fight in the middle of campus as part of a senior prank. The school’s principal walked out into the middle of the fight to stop the prank. He then closed off parts of the school.

That’s not nearly as bad as pranks at Highland High School and Gilbert High School in the past, when cats and pigeons were killed as part of a football game prank. Hey, lookie, Good Old Charlie Santa Cruz was principal at the time! Isn’t it amazing that Charlie dealt with his delinquents, while the Highland kids were arrested? That’s the way things still seem to work in GPS: it all depends on who you know.

Gilbert police on Tuesday detained three Highland students, all 17-year-old boys. Each faces one count in juvenile court of criminal trespassing, and two of the three face animal-cruelty charges for killing the cats. Gilbert High Principal Charles Santa Cruz is preparing to discipline two students for the pigeon killing. Police aren’t involved.

There was another incident garnering international media attention that, to a casual observer, seemed to involve a Mesa high school, but it was really GPS Desert Ridge High School.  The flyer that gained worldwide media coverage reads:

So you think you come to school looking pretty cute > but what the boys see is meat, and it’s distracting > so they make lousy grades > but you end up with one of them anyway because he thought you looked HOT! > and then he ends up under employed because he learned nothing in school > so you get to support him … forever… > but it’s okay … because you look cute today!

The student who first posted an image of a misogynist flier and wrote “so it’s the girls fault, right? #feminism” on it was treated to an unusual reaction: “my librarian claims I’m the only one offended by it,” and that “when I asked her about it, she dismissed me, folded the written part, & put more staples in it.” The way that Irene Mahoney-Baloney Paige dismissed the incident on behalf of GPS was *interesting,* to say the least:

A flier calling girls “meat” who distract boys and ultimately cause men’s failure brought international attention to Desert Ridge High School in Mesa when it was found hanging in the library in late April. Students began to call the flier into question on social media, and soon it went viral, getting coverage from news outlets including ABC, the Daily Mail, the Guardian and Mic… “The poster in question has been in the library for some time (not hung up) so it is unclear when it was made or by whom,” said Irene Mahoney-Paige, director of communications for Gilbert Public Schools.


Gilbert Public Schools — never miss an opportunity to prove incompetence and/or ignorance. 

*Big Fat Asterisk: Yes, we know the correct term is *party hearty,* but the definition appears at the incorrectly spelled link. Sheeeeesh. We know what these guys do when they’re at a conference!

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